Honey on my Mind

Today I’ve been having the strangest experience of merging completely out of individuation. There is absolutely no apparent concept of division (even writing it is ridiculous because in actuality I can see that I’m not even here – so concept of what, where?), but yet at the same time I’m completely self-aware. It’s exactly as I suspected, that self-awareness is key to dissolving all else so that all becomes Self. Yet Self is nothing, it’s just an imagined stage play. An inward projection in the mind’s eye of the Infinite. I can see through the Infinite’s eyes, and it’s crystal clear that the entire thing is purely for amusement. Bizarre flashes of imagery have taken me since yesterday to figure out – what seems like memories of things that are far too big to be mine (individuation). But also it’s not a memory, it’s actually a dream. What it is is the awareness of the old dream of the Infinite (now awakened). My pineal has begun to secrete a higher hormone that I have never experienced before and that actually tastes like honey at the back of my palate.

Allowing our Partner to Be

Many enter relationships wanting to teach their significant other or open them up to “their way” of living and being. This implies that one way is better, and actually comprises an agenda. Any time we have an agenda with our partner we hinder and possibly even completely prevent authentic connection. It also implies that we don’t unconditionally accept them as they are, and that our love for them is based on a projected image of what they could potentially be in the future rather than what they are right now. This is a very bad way to start a relationship.

Many have hidden tendencies to want to “show” their partner themselves, this implies a dysfunctional need to be seen that indicates some element of the inner child has been left unattended. If the inner child is out of balance it will profoundly affect our ability to engage in adult relationships, and whether we want to avoid relationships until we achieve balance or engage in the process of healing with our partner is up to us. Wanting to be seen and spontaneously sharing are entirely different, and can be easily distinguished based on whether or not there is a feeling of peace or of fundamental neediness. We must be honest with ourselves about which this is. Only when we are content to see ourselves can we truly connect with the depths of a partner, and hope to experience the mutual beholding of our divinity in one another.

We can allow our partner to majestically reveal themselves by dropping all conceptions that we could ever know a being as vast as the cosmos having a human experience (which is what our partner actually is). It stands to reason that we would not enter a relationship with a person who has no intention of realising this, and so we won’t even go there on what to do in that instance. We cannot put words to the unfathomable gift of such a revelatory experience as glimpsing life through another’s eyes, and only the most arrogant could fail to see the holiness and sacredness of such an unprecedented opportunity.

We can show the depth of our love for a partner by treating them as a completely unique window into the expanse of eternity, one through which we can only glimpse in humility, not when we seek to grasp at or control them. Absolute reverence in relationship is a prerequisite to mastery, without which our potential to enter Oneness together comes to a total halt.

In favouring sameness and so trying to mold our partner to be like us, we forfeit the gift of the unique perspective that they bring. If we start out by seeking others who mirror to us sameness, or even seek to become the same, we stifle the blessing of diverse expression which
so beautifully characterises the human experience. We greatly limit our ability to expand our own horizons when we connect deeply only with those who share our viewpoints, and greatly expand our own viewpoints when we recognise the gift of exploring the vista of another.

There is a vast difference between naturally inspiring a partner onto something new because this is the obvious next step, and actually seeking to change a person from the off. To have no agenda doesn’t mean we can’t show our loved ones another way, it means we live from the place of innocence which is the moment and allow life to unfold and express dynamically through us. In the stillness of the mind, the heart opens to effortlessly reveal our next step. Only from here can we experience authentic love with another.

The Feminine in Expression in Sexuality

Here’s an interesting one.

I’ve been observing recently a lot of the programming that is portrayed in movies, tv programs, drama series and so on specifically with regards to sexuality and sexual expression when it comes to women.

The woman who is tuned into her sexuality always “steals” or has stolen the men from other less expressive women, it’s the same same story line over and over and over. This is used throughout every form of media in order to reinforce the insecurities of women that on one hand says they are less than something due to physical factors but on the other hand that also says to express ones sexuality is wrong. As well as this, it also says that no effort whatsoever needs to be made in terms of working with this aspect of ones being in order to be entitled to all of the benefits that come with expressing all of oneself, including the benefits that come from others in the form of mutual exchange of enjoyment and appreciation and just general increased interest in who you are as a person. It implies that sexuality is not an inherent part of a woman, and that it’s something only some women use because they’re horrible people. Then, the woman who is tuned into her sexuality gets blamed for everything, including all the faults of the other women and their unwillingness to do anything about them. They also get blamed for the desire of both men and women to gravitate towards them as a result of making more of an effort to express more of their authentic selves. It’s the same story, all the time. Except in the the media, it’s almost always the form of sexuality that is actually geared at control that is used to portray this distorted view of what sexuality actually is and can potentially be.

How about this instead? It takes work to make friends with your sexuality, and not only that but to learn to use it impeccably and with integrity and grace. It’s not something that comes naturally for most women, and even when it does, it’s because there’s been a hell of a lot of work done on it throughout past lives and the ages of extreme suppression of the feminine energy the expression of which many times came at the penalty of death. Not only this, but a great deal of the most authentically sexy and sensual women in the world have been raped, abused or experienced some other kind of horrible sexual trauma and have had to go through the gruelling process of healing themselves from that too, often by themselves. How then can anyone reasonably find an excuse to be jealous and to begrudge them of the evolved expression they have rightfully earned?

The sad fact is that a lot of women who can’t be bothered doing this work on themselves or are content to just connect with their partners in a less than desirable manner while maintaining the attitude of automatic entitlement to everything they want can be extremely jealous and can be downright vicious when it comes to being “usurped” by somebody who actually has done the work on themselves to the extent that others naturally want to be around them. Somebody who has done considerable self-work will automatically want to treat others better too, and so in their company both men and women who have been overlooked for their beautiful qualities elsewhere are of course going to be treated in the way that they actually deserve. I’m not talking about just in regards to the sexual act, that’s only one element of sexuality. What I’m saying is that there is a lot more to sexuality than simply sex, it’s actually a part of the makeup of who a person is and how they conduct themselves in general. The woman who has tuned in consciously to the healing power of her authentic sexuality is likely to have so much respect for herself and her own body that she will naturally bestow just the same on any potential romantic partner, because to do so would seem obvious and a natural extension of appreciating the divinity of oneself. The woman who is self-disrespecting to the degree that she hasn’t even looked at her own misgivings in this area is likely to not give a damn about the well-being of her partner on every level. As we know so well, we can only truly love others as much as we truly love ourselves. And so, self-love is the key to successful, loving and lasting relationships the hallmark of which is genuine authenticity.

The truth is, true sexuality beyond duality is so powerful and has such potential to shatter boundaries of limited expression and break the planet out into an entire new reality of peace, love and unity that we have been deliberated dissuaded from using this most indescribably valuable of tools for truly positive and world-expanding purposes.

Never have I seen more claws-out nastiness and outright fake feminine hostility in women than when it comes to the issue of sexuality. It makes a lot of heart-based women who aren’t operating through this programming afraid to use their natural sexuality, not because of concern over attention from men, but concern over how horrible their fellow women can be towards them as a result of expressing it. Many cannot stand the fact that somebody else is more comfortable with their sexuality and therefore may be in a position to attract more male attention, never stopping to consider the constant process of remaining in that space. What if they don’t really want male attention, but just want to be themselves? Sexuality can either be used to cause harm or to catalyze healing, and which one of those we choose is down to aware moment by moment decisions with regards to the highest way in which we can operate our energy at any given time.

The programming that has been given to women is horrific, it’s actually painful to really look at when you see the potential that could be there for all women to be really beautiful people if the programming wasn’t in place. As I say, we’ve been deliberately given a false and distorted view of what authentic sexuality is, in order that we can’t use it to be able to see the beauty not only in ourselves but in all of life, regardless of what our physical condition is. Beauty does not lie in the skin, it comes from deep within and ripples upwards to where it can be seen on the surface as a result of the inner glow of knowing ones own inherent value and worth. The most beautiful people are not necessarily those whose faces and bodies are perfectly contoured to an acceptable design, they’re the ones whos faces and bodies perfectly reflect the natural shining beauty that is inside.

Over the last decade most particularly, their have been countless stories in the movies and celebrity culture that back up all of these fundamental insecurities in women and reinforce the fake feminine programming that causes them to want to attack and belittle other women as a result of their sexual expression. All of these stories are stage set-ups, you know, threatrical scripts specifically designed to empower insecurities to such a degree that women would find it perfectly reasonably to wage war against each other based on them. Not only this, but also to give them a whole load more excuses not to have to do any work on themselves at all. Then, nobody changes and everything stays comfortably the same.

Always throughout history female sexuality has been blamed for everything that’s ever gone wrong ever in terms of misperceptions, misunderstandings and downright miscalculations of what is actually going on (check another theatrical story, Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden). We’ve only ever been shown cleverly orchestrated examples of the fake feminine when it comes to sexuality in expression, never examples of Sacred Sexuality the likes of which is very clearly available to us now. Thus, we don’t even know what Sacred Sexuality is when we see it anymore.

It may seem impossible to imagine considering how heavy the programming surrounding authentic sexuality has been, but there is a form of sexuality beyond all programming that is pure and completely without agenda, it is simply the love of the heart that is so ferocious in its intensity that it flows naturally into creative expression because it has to go somewhere and that’s what the cosmic creative energy that is sexuality is all about. It has no desire to control, manipulate, or be “in power” over anything. It just expresses, because it is. When we see this now, we interpret it as a threat, because it smashes all previous paradigms of what we recognise sexuality to be and we can’t handle the idea that some people in the world may have put so much effort into furthering themselves that they get to stand in this most lofty position of luminosity having reached it by their own incredible efforts.

One lady who has done a superb job of demonstrating the above is Cambridge artist, mystic, poet and all round muse, Jocelyn Woods. Jocelyn is actually wheelchair bound having been born with a rare neuromuscular condition, yet has through some miracle still managed to create beautiful art expressing profound sensuality using her body and her vision alone. I have been deeply inspired by Jocelyn, and my feeling is that she is flying the flag when it comes to the the sexuality of the Divine Feminine for all of us to see. How many can actually spot a real Goddess when she appears before us?

Find Jocelyn’s current project on facebook here – http://www.facebook.com/resurrectionofpassion

Shall we Dance?

A sure fire way to navigate successfully through the ups and downs of life is this –

Lead with your body, not with your mind.

I used to think that to lead with the heart is the way, but there comes a point when the heart expands so wide that it encompasses everything. Then, the cells as one come alive, and every movement becomes a dance.

The body is a pristine machine of miraculous capacity and capability, it speaks in a language so subtle that only the silent ear can hear. It tells us of our deepest most instinctual nature, and guides us towards the path of highest light.

The body will always tell if something is not right, if our environment suffocates our dreams and wishes and stifles the quiet longings of our heart. Do not fear to listen and to heed its call to action, this vessel of divine compassion will never lead you astray.

True Intimacy

Here is a very personal one from me.

I have stuggled all my life with the limiting confines of personal relationships, not because of my personal issues, but because the concept of relating is not expansive enough to encompass me and all of my gifts. We try to fit ourselves into boxes that the world creates for us, and when there is no room to breathe, then we believe what others tell us about how it is all our fault. There has never before been a celebratory attitude towards the diversity of individual expression within unified experience, but all of that is changing and there has never been a better time to get to know and celebrate ourselves.

Among my unique gifts is razorlike perception, “hawk vision” as it was dubbed throughout my childhood. There is no detail that passes my eye, and that has always been the case. I pick up on everything, including all of the programmes that others don’t even know they’re running, and that most are unwilling to see. We believe that once we’ve removed some of the basic surface programming that everyone with a reasonable degree of conscious awareness now knows of that we’re suddenly done, but everything until we reach the very core of our being is a programme of the matrix. I frequently encounter people who believe they have awakened or have become free from the matrix because they know about the conspiracies of the government or have knowledge of healthy living, but how many know that even the belief in creation as something real is a programme? How many have explored the depths of their childhood experience and rooted out the bugs that every cartoon, every Disney movie, every Barbie doll and bedtime story put in there? How many know that the lullabies they heard as babies programmed them with fear of death? All of these things and more that I see clear as day are unbearable to me.

For somebody to tell me that my instinct is nothing, is the greatest insult. Because of that it’s impossible for me to have close relationships with anyone who doesn’t trust in my intrinsic nature and is willing to learn, because to put myself in that position is to insult the divine within. When we say we want to live in Oneness, how can we justify clinging with such ferocity to duality? The truth is, nobody wants to admit the uncomfortable truth that they’ve been programmed. Sooner or later, we’re going to have to drop the guard and do this together.

For me now, to spot the programmes and throw off the shackles that bind me is the joy of joys. Nothing can compare to the rush of freedom that is experienced with every step further out of the matrix of opposites. But even that is illusory, what is freedom when there is nothing for it to be an opposite of? True freedom cannot be the opposite of imprisonment, and so even still there is something beyond the scope of “freedom” as we know it that cannot possibly be described in words. Anything at all that can be given a definition is not real. And here is where the problem kicks in for most.

As soon as it gets even the slighest hint that its end is nigh, the mind will fight tooth and nail to hold on to anything, no matter how illogical, as long as it gives it some kind of rooting in reason. What is madness but the insane delusions of the rational mind, that clutches frantically at thin air for fear of losing itself? Almost always when I push on that point of no return, someone will throw me a line about how they’re “not fighting me”, as if I’m the one who’s waging war. What they’re seeing is the raging fight with their own mind. It is a strange paradox that outside of the mirrors you become the mirror of all that is yet unseen in a person about their own illusions. Only if our quest is authentically to leave the hall of mirrors behind completely does this cease to be the case. 

My greatest wish is that we can rise together into the heady heights of inseparable Infinite love, but to do that requires that we embrace a new era of intimacy in the truest sense of the word. True intimacy is an open-hearted and trusting embrace of the world and everything in it, knowing life to be only benevolent and ever constant in its unconditional gifting of opportunities to open ourselves to a higher way. We will never know what form these will present themselves in, unless we are keen to listen with the ears of the heart. Only when we fearlessly share ourselves from within will we begin to know what real love is. It burns like an unquenchable fire, not raging but calm and steady, the light of the heart. And it will never go out once we make that daily choice to tend it, no matter what.

Really Really Real

This one is very hard for me to write, but is a must for authentic expression.

For the last few years I have been working with every available ounce of my strength to recover from and overcome a very abusive past. Oftentimes when I have tried to share my struggle with others I’ve found myself to be belittled, judged and treated in a way that conveys “just get on with it”, as if I have no feelings or my feelings are otherwise invalid. Our society has been built in a way that teaches us that we shouldn’t be real, we should cover up our authentic selves and pretend that everything is fine when it’s not, that we’re happy when we’re sad, or that we’re on top of the world when we’re really really hurting. This has to change if we truly wish to become a world where genuine and heartfelt connection with life and with our fellow beings rules the day, and I hope that if I achieve nothing else my own life will have set a trend.

My own experience while trying to “get better” has awakened in me the realisation that there are thousands and thousands of people all over the globe who are trying with all their might to “get on with it (life)”, to rebuild and repair, with little or no support, and sometimes the complete reverse. If we cannot come together as humans to get real about the fact that there has been suffering in our midst for an entire age, and to work together to help each other to come out the other side, how can we hope for humanity to thrive? To suffer is a perspective, but similarly in order to change it we must acknowledge that its root in separation consciousness has been there.

As a result of my own experience, I now have a burning passion for assisting all those who genuinely want to make a change but need a hand and a heart to hold them at every step through the process, which can take years and years and years. That is what my life’s project – “Fire Heart Foundation” – is all about.

I have promised myself that I will achieve exorbitant wealth and fund this project myself in order to bring support, relief and opportunities to all those who cross my path, particularly young people and their families. This is the worldly achievement that I am working towards all the time.

I have a bigger point to make with all of this – and that is on the subject of “victimhood”.

I want to state very clearly that I am not a victim, and that I have always been aware that through my own experiences I am exploring a bigger cosmic theme, and coming to understand the nature of how life has moved.

The biggest part of this healing experience for me has been in working to extract the insights that lie hidden beneath the surface appearances, and I want to share some of them here. These are some pretty majors ones that I have finally in the last few days managed to grasp, having shifted enough of the physical pain that has plagued me to reach beyond the nervous edge and find in action the love in what has seemed like hell.

I have known since I was a small child that everything was an inner experience, that what appeared to be the world was not real, and that I was really studying how my inner pieces all fit together. What I have been learning is what happens when the feminine is suppressed.

What happens when the feminine is suppressed, I will talk about within here, is that the masculine becomes dysfunctional, dominant and destructive. The masculine can be referred to as the rational mind, the overly-logical, oppressive left-brained thinking that drowns out the inherent magic of life. This is then mirrored in the “outer world”, which has no choice but to show us what is within. What is generally not understood is that masculine/feminine does not refer to male/female. It refers to the masculine and feminine components of every being, regardless of what kind of body they are expressing in. When the feminine in a male is suppressed, the masculine becomes equally dysfunctional, and vise versa. A woman who is suppressing her feminine parts will be overly masculine and potentially even aggressive.

In my case, I was suppressing everything, and so my environment had no option but to show me all out abusiveness on every level, to give me the chance to bring all these into balance within myself and in doing so change the very fabric of cosmic life.

The inner masculine, expressed in the body in the form of the left brain, when suppressed, produces overly emotional experience with very little achievement, because without the masculine or left brained aspect functioning there is no actual organisation to life. Without organisation, life is fruitless, there can be no achievement. The suppressed inner feminine or right brain produces blind action with no vision behind it, which equally doesn’t lead anyone very far. If we want to achieve in the world based on our highest possible visions, the masculine and feminine needs to be brought into balance in every individual. The left and right brain need to be fully functioning, coordinating and communicating cohesively in order to make our visions a reality. When we say that male and female cannot communicate, it is our own fault. If we changed within, we would find that our environment shows us instances where that is not the case.

This reality of the outer world mirroring what is within works the very same even in the most benign of circumstances. For example, if a man is in a relationship with a woman who has become “moany” or “whingey”, it is easy to say that this is just an irritating woman. However, what is actually happening is that the man’s chosen partner has no option but to mirror to him his own suppressed masculinity, which causes the feminine to become dysfunctional, so that he may grow beyond the need for those relationships to show him what he is not expressing.

There is something unspeakably beautiful that we can look forward to here. Once we we have fully connected all of the inner pieces so that they are dancing harmoniously together in joy and peace, life ceases to be a reflection, and becomes an expression instead. Imagine that – never again do we need to look at a “dysfunctional” part of ourself, all that is there to be seen is pure beauty and majesty and grace. Imagine that.

I must stop again to make another distinction – what is true masculinity, and what is true femininity?

The masculine/feminine that we’ve been presented with and have come to accept as what either of these are, is false. Most of what we see as feminine is the “false feminine”, and the masculine that we know to be “manliness” is the “fake masculine”. The fakeness comes when either of these is in expression without the backing of its alternate pole in balance. As such, it is lacking “substance”, and so is not real. True masculinity can only express with the support of the feminine behind it, and vice versa. Authentic expression is something that we all need to achieve within ourselves, in order to bring our world into balance.

Realness is a huge factor that comes into this. The more we place our attention and energy in unreal experiences, such as watching movies or TV programs, or interacting only via the internet, the more we are going to forget that the surface appearances are not real and that our environment is only showing us what needs to be changed within. The time has come now at this point in our evolution for all of us who claim to be of any spiritual disposition to “get real”. If we can’t meet in person and be as authentic as we can behind a screen, how can we say that our spirituality has any meaning? I hope with all my heart that the light-bearers within humanity will come steadily out of the woodwork and choose now to be vulnerable in the eyes of others, in order to step into this new era of genuine authenticity amongst ourselves. This is a call out, and I am waiting.

Now to get back to the original topic.

If you should ever find yourself in the position whereby you are stuck, I can tell you with total surety and with my hand on my heart that the way to become “unstuck” is through expression of what is really you. It doesn’t matter how this is done, it doesn’t matter what mode or method or mechanism you use, all that matters is that you choose without fear to “let yourself out”, all of you, no matter how much it seems like the mere presence of such realness will break everything that is unreal into a hundred million little pieces and leave you with a heap of dust on the floor where a life of imprisonment once stood. It actually will, and I promise that is a very positive thing. That is why I hold this space of safe and honest and open expression of what is within here, only good can come of it.

Although it is ultimately not real, the power of the tool that we have here in the form of the internet cannot be underestimated. It is perhaps through fearless expression of ourselves here that we can eventually find the courage to sing in real life, and then the world really will change for the better.