Breaking the Chain of Generational Wounding


“If Wishes Were Horses” by Neighya –

The last several years of my life have been largely dominated by trying to comprehend how exactly I might explain the large context for what I have to offer to the world, without stepping out of integrity, or getting trapped in any one area that could form an identity or a worldview, either for myself or for others.

This series of blogs is my attempt to begin that explanation, with the hope that it will eventually form a cohesive blueprint for how I move forward in the area of life that deals with relationship to others and humanity at large.

To preface, my journey over this lifetime in a nutshell has been one of “coming in” to a very desperate and limiting situation, in order that I might find my way through that and develop a roadmap for liberation that I could share with everyone, while walking myself free from age-old illusion at the same time. There has been nothing of being a victim of anything or anyone, as there never is, regardless of the situation – merely a co-created journey of great discovery, and privileged one at that. My approach to everything I have experienced has been one of “how can I discover the eternal truth hidden within this?”, and that is what has led me to where I am now.

I have noticed, over the last year, a large “theme” reveal itself, which appears to convey that my contribution to humanity is in the area of restoring visibility of the True Feminine in all its many facets, and in doing so peeling back the illusion that there was ever anything else. Many of us, men especially, carry deep-seated fear around the feminine, as it has for many ages been associated with manipulation, deception and quite frankly insanity. All of that is about to change on the planet. My interest here has been to slough-off the heavy cloak of ages gone by where illusion was still present, in order to prepare for the advent of a  new world that is entirely different from what we have known. Furthermore, to not only participate as it unfolds but to actually play a part in bringing it about. Because of having walked this journey myself, it is of total apparency that this is coming despite all surfaces appearances to the contrary. I have total assurance of this – I can see it.

Of primary importance in the unfolding of this new world is the way that we relate first and foremost to our own inner children, and following from that, how this translates to our relationship with children of the world. It is fundamentally important that we heal ourselves in order to enable future generations to rise from the ashes of the crumbling worldly structures and fly like the eagles they are destined to be. It should not be the case that any child in the future needs to heal themselves from what they experienced as children, and what will enable this to be the case is for adults of the current generation to deal thoroughly with their own wounding, until it is no more.

(To preface this next section, the below might seem like a very extreme reaction, but in my particular case we are talking about a situation whereby very severe abuse was present, which I will elaborate on at a later date. Therefore it may only be applicable in the definitive sense for others who have been or are still experiencing a similar scenario, whereas alternative solutions may be possible in other cases.)

Five years ago I sat down with my mother to have a serious conversation that I knew with every fibre of my being would change the course of my life, depending on how it went. I implored her with my last hope and explained that if things didn’t change she wouldn’t be meeting her grandchildren. Her response in heart-shattering coldness was, “I don’t care.” That was the breaking point for me, and the beginning of the grieving process for the seeming loss of what I had wanted most and would never have in the way that I had thought. It took me another three years to actually leave successfully (following two failed attempts), but I finally managed it with my head held high and full confidence that I would never need to look back, in May 2014. Immediately following that, having arrived at my new destination, I left the matrix of individuated life for the first time.

To explain, this was possible because I didn’t just leave a toxic familial relationship in the linear sense, but I left the illusion that it is possible to be separated from the True Mother – the real Divine Feminine that permeates all of life, but that is not visible to us through the overlays of distorted emotion and perception that we keep in place through binding beliefs.

There is nothing in the world that it harder than grieving for somebody who is still alive. Partly because it is just something that nobody can understand; unless they are in that position themselves, and partly because there is absolutely no support. It is just not a widely recognised phenomenon in society. This is the journey I have been on silently for the last five years, and it is now time to break that silence and step out into the full light of my purpose, regardless of how it might impact others. Thankfully, I am no longer experiencing this grief – I have passed a threshhold where I have stepped beyond it, all that remains now is to continue to allow all that doesn’t belong to be shed with grace.

One of the most limiting belief systems that is widespread among humanity at large is that we are bound in some way to our blood relatives, our ancestral heritage or lineage. The illusion of blood ties (I will elaborate later on how this is related to black magic that many are unknowingly practicing). The keyword here is lineage, which tells us that we’re talking about a linear track that will inevitably keep us circling around and around through our family’s karmic experience. It’s not until somebody comes along and finally shatters this illusion that it releases the whole line, ironically. The tyranny of ancestry is that we are unconsciously programmed to take on the karma that was never solved by those before us, across the three levels of body, soul and spirit, which make up the construct of the large linear matrix.

This is obvious in incidences such as where there is the belief of “hereditary” disease in the family – one person has arthritis, and therefore others do, or one person has diabetes or heart disease, and so others are pre-disposed to the same, and so on. This happens only because we believe in the illusion of genetics, when the truth is that our cellular makeup (and thus our DNA) is responsive to intent. It’s simply the case that nobody bothers to question the programming that has been stored down the line of familial heritage (and thus unconsciously taken up by anyone who feels psychically connected to the line, for whatever reason), and nobody bothers to intend something different for themselves.

Out of interest, I did suffer from arthritis as a child, until I realised the utter bullshit of “it runs in the family” and threw off the mantle that wasn’t mine to carry.

In my estimation, partly the reason we stay in the realm of this programming is because we deeply fear rejection by what has been the most fundamental tribe – the family structure, which was relied upon for safety and well-being during childhood. The idea of rejection, however unconscious, feels like it might equate with a sort of death, and this is potentially true from the perspective of the isolated child. However, the child only remains isolated so long as we keep it as an external, rather than taking it deep within and holding it from the core and depths of being for ourselves. Deeply internalised, it becomes the case that the inner child is surrounded by its own inner family, who provide the nurturing and support required to navigate the way out of binding matrices without the crippling sense of relying upon the approval of outdated and outmoded structures in order to survive. This is not to say of course that family isn’t valuable, but rather that we can build family to mean what we deeply want it to mean for us, without taking on board the nonsense that it really shouldn’t mean. As adults, we have the privileged option to educate ourselves about the dynamics of how these beliefs have imprisoned us, and move from a position of having our inner child at the mercy of others; to nurturing its ongoing presence from within: essentially becoming the functional family unit unto ourselves. It is at this point that we can build family anew. More will be discussed on this later, but suffice to say that without the dynamic geometry of an evolved inner structure, our lives are entirely controllable by the agendas of the world.

In my life, I made the choice that I would no longer suffer the repressed pain of my outer family (granted that my particular family dynamics were an extreme case), and further; that I absolutely refused to pass this onto my own children either directly via myself or indirectly via exposure to others. This to me feels like a supreme responsibility of my generation, yet nevertheless a very personal choice. At the very least education is necessary so that our children do not fall into the same patterns of delusional loyalty to dysfunction that many of us have agreed to, knowingly or otherwise.

Regarding repressed pain, I have seen that those who are deeply hurting are capable of unthinkable callousness, the iciness of frozen, unprocessed emotion compounding all human sentiment and chilling it to the bone. It could be said that some people are unfeeling, and this is true, yet there is more to this than it seems (speaking of those with capacity for feeling, ie. any being with a soul). They are unfeeling not because of an inherent badness or lack of capacity, but because they are unable to face the depths of their own agony, and so freeze over like a lake in perpetual winter as a survival mechanism, in this way essentially mimicking a soulless being. There is nothing that can be done to save these people, painful as that may be to recognise, unless or until they are willing to save themselves. In terms of integrity and impeccable use of power it is important to refrain from wasting energy in this area, and this is a primary challenge that many light workers struggle with, but that needs to be mastered in order to actually play a larger role in healing the world.

This wounding in its essence, whether in ourselves or others, is the repressed feminine, that part which each of us needs to come to terms with in our own journeys, internally, in order to heal it in our larger world. Only then will it disappear as a widespread phenomenon – that same phenomenon that is responsible for a myriad of atrocities. It’s clear how we cannot expect anything to change until we are prepared to embrace what hurts the most inside us. 

On my journey as a being, and fundamentally as a woman, I have been acutely aware since my early twenties of the crucial need to ensure that generations to come do not inherit these same self-destructive patterns. It is now a matter of survival for the human species. It is crucial that the generation of my age and younger, and perhaps slightly older, who have capacity to do so, take up the mantle of being the pattern breakers either before such a time as we meet face to face with our own children, or as we grow with them (for those who have already embraced parenthood). This I feel is the role of my generation. It is crucial that we heal ourselves first and foremost, and ruthlessly eliminate all that is destructive in our lives, regardless of the label that it might come with – that our children might be born into their power as an unquestionable birthright. It is these children who will rebuild the structure of our society from new fabric, after the old has been razed down. And razed down it must be.

In the old cosmos, individuation was through sustained tension. The scenario that I experienced was very carefully selected in order to enable that, as it was for all of us who experienced pain, and simply became an obsolete coping mechanism at a certain point. I want to reiterate the no. 1 thing that can be taken from any of this, if nothing else, and that is that absolutely nothing is personal. One thing I have learned as an over-arching theme on my journey over many ages is that we are always, no exceptions, dealing with the impersonal, transpersonal even, archetypal nature of life in its largest sense unfolding through our unique experience. The key is just to find that and internalise it – this is the essence of the discipline of metaphysics, which is by far one of my greatest passions. The metaphysical simply thrills me!


Work With Me – Ciara offers private coaching and healing sessions. Find out more at


Posted on June 4, 2016, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I deeply connect with this, Ciara.
    I read it & integrated it….
    Thank you for sharing it!

  2. Thank you, Ciara. Such an important message — The last paragraph about things not being personal, really gave me for for “thought”. Ialsolove what you said about the FEMININE.

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