Introducing Myself

I realised I have never really done this, so perhaps now would be a good time.

Hello my name is Ciara.

I am a being of love and I have come to Earth with the sole purpose of radically shaking things up. I am a Nagual being, which means that I have a specific type of energy and makeup that contains different components to most, and therefore gives me specific functions which are the primary functions that I operate with as a being here on the Earth. Among these functions are vast amounts of energy, which I use very successfully for things such as accessing insight, working on various different levels of existence simultaneously, and making rapid advancements in consciousness at warp speed.

As a result of these things, I have lived my life moving very quickly from one thing to the next and from one place, one group of people, and one task to the next, never really pausing for too long. It has left me with very few personal connections, but an extremely wide wide of connections with whom I have briefly interacted, and very little establishment in any particular place. Despite this, I have profoundly deep roots that stretch right into the core of myself, and with this it doesn’t really matter if I never stand still for more than a second.

I was born fully conscious of myself and as a young child experienced much of my life out of body, as I struggled to become accustomed to the unfamiliar territory of such a dense plane of existence and the fact of having a body in the first place, something which was unusual to me. In addition to this, I had extreme sensitivity to almost everything, and the onslaught of chemicals as well as sensory stimulation on the Earth drove me almost to distraction. The only real escape was to live outside the body as much as possible, during which time I interacted primarily with the soul and spirit realms and various other things in between. I formed deep bonds with lifeforms that were invisible to others, and found solace in my relationship with plants and the animals I encountered. Various horrible experiences during early childhood compounded my resistance to engaging with physicality, and so spirituality and all it entails became by primary focus. At age 6 I made a life-altering move with my family from London to a small village in Ireland, which was totally unprepared for the likes of me.

Like most I through the regular school system, which found it very difficult to cope with my particular way of being, which included for me highly active skills of multi-level and multi-sensory perception that have been fully functioning since I was born, that made it almost impossible to engage with the basic level of experience that the school system required. Some might call these “psychic abilities”, but that really does not give any kind of explanation as to what they actually are. Due to my ability to “see, hear and feel things that aren’t there”, I was eventually at age 14 entered into the world of child psychiatry in an attempt to figure out “what was wrong with me” which eventually led to a diagnose with the common learning disorder ADHD and subsequent high dosage medication with the amphetamine drug Ritalin. In addition to this, I was given other diagnoses including Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome (extreme sensitivity to light), Sensory Integrative Disorder, mild Dyspraxia, and so forth. What these did was basically put me in a box of “you’re broken, but at least now we understand you”.

When I came off Ritalin at age 18, without my doctor’s permission, I was a very damaged young person. I can honestly say that this drug causes a significant amount of damage to the neurology of the brain and body, as well as psychological damage due to the fact that it distorts one’s perception of reality (it is an amphetamine, after all). As I was already spiritually inclined, this drug opened me up to experience some very unpleasant things within the astral realms, in much the same was as mild psychedelic would for an unprepared child, and acted as a gateway into a world which it probably would have been better for me not to go into. At age 17 I had fled from my childhood town as soon as I could and went straight into college, believing that this was the only way for me to have a chance at a normal life, only to find that I could cope no better there than I had in school, and dropped out without even completing the first year. I took up a job in a call centre just to get by, and sunk rapidly into a deep depression. At 17 I had ended up in an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship which I escaped just before it became physical, and found myself alone with no friends or connections in Ireland’s capital city Dublin two years later, after 4 home moves and a request for my job to transfer me to the city so that I could escape further from where I had been thinking that it was a physical process that was needed. In the 6 years since I have moved home a further 13 times. Faced with the prospect that something had to be flipped entirely on its head – I booked a three week trip to Canada prepared to leave everything I had ever known behind and come back a new person. True to my intention, this catalysed the beginning of the complete breakdown of everything that I had previously believed about myself. My heart began to crack back open into the childlike innocence and happiness I had lost, and I saw shimmers of light shining through.

On my return to Ireland, I moved back to the town where I had first gone to college. A rapid process of change unfolded, which began with meeting somebody who would form a very imporant part of my life and my healing process for several years, and who stood by my side while I went through a complete breakdown of all that had gone before. Following the obvious magical granting of my previous request, my faith in something more was restored, and I prayed every day for more answers to be revealed. To my astonishment, it wasn’t long before I found myself passing a window poster that showed a very surprising course available in my town to which I was able to apply, knowing immediately I would be accepted. It was a course on holistic health, and though I only stayed for one year, it was enough to push me headlong into the several years that came next. During the duration of that year I received attunements into the healing modality of reiki and although the actual practice was never for me, the energy that was pulsed through me in that time was almost the entirety of what it seems I was enrolled on the course for. It began a cleansing process so intense that for an entire 3 week period I was suicidal, but yet I knew on a very deep level what was going on. In those 3 weeks, which were the 3 weeks in the run up to my 21st birthday, I recapitulated an entire 7 years worth of previous experience. By several weeks after my 21st birthday, I was in a state of permanent bliss, with an absolute knowingness I was on a mission. I had no idea what the mission was, but I KNEW. I was ready.

Little did I know, the largest bulk of the mission for the next 5 years was going to be the complete uncovering of everything else about my past that I had actually forgotten, and I’m talking all of the lifetimes. The whole lot. I needed to remember everything, and to find out who exactly I really was. On top of that, I needed to heal the pain and trauma of the ages, and I needed to do this on a massive scale.

Shortly after my course ended it was decided that I would move yet again, this time to Brighton, England. No sooner had I arrived there than I knew I was on the first leg of the biggest initiation yet. I cannot even begin to describe what has unfolded since then, but I will try just a little bit. I went to Brighton thinking “Great, this is my place. Now I can settle”. But that was not to be the case. I was pushed through initiation after initiation, never being allowed to stop and even really make friends or put down roots. In Brighton I met more old soul connections than I can count on all my digits, and some of them showed me in glaring detail exactly the nature of the pains that had haunted me for aeons, and caused the exact same experiences in this lifetime to repeat themselves so I could get the insights. Those who showed me my beauty I was never allowed to become close to. As always, I was to do the work, and then keep moving. Once again, after two years, I found myself completely isolated and living alone. I knew at that point I had no option but to be myself in my entirety, and I flung myself completely into the arms of God and gave myself up. It was clear I was meant to be standing alone, not in aloneness because we are never alone, but as a solitary being. I did not belong to any spiritual group, I did not belong to any tribe or community, I belonged to the Infinite, and my home was wherever I was standing. After a terrible period of intense loneliness, not yet aware of my nature as the door of everything, there suddenly came a deep knowing that I must return to Ireland for some purpose, and through a series of events that presented themselves allowing that to happen, here I am.

On my final return to Ireland, it was made immediately clear that I am my own best friend, and my job is not to live a normal life as others describe it. I must follow without fear every step I was directed by God to take, and this I have done. It has taken me on the most incredible journey, which included an entire year of withdrawal from interaction, an indescribable battle with the false God of the tyrannical spirit, a meeting with the devil himself, and several more moves to various locations around the country which eventually led me to…me. Ah yes, it turns out that I am all things. Finally I have arrived at the stop I am standing in now – ready to actually introduce myself to the world. My strong suit is in spirituality, and my experience is what I want to share with you. Let this be the start.

You can find me on my main website here –
http://www.whitecloudwarriors.com

On my blog here –
http://www.captainexcellent.com

And on my secondary blogs here and here –
http://sossaveourselves.wordpress.com
http://ascensionsuite101.com

Notes from a Voyage

Today I have been engaged in the process of clearing out all of my paper work, including preparing a whole bunch of old notebooks for a ceremonial burning, and have found some interesting things.

I keep several notebooks at a time in which I write detailed lists of the things that I want to manifest, how I would like my life to be, and what would give me most joy to see, as well as the things that inspire me and various and random little notes on snippets of things that flash across my consciousness but are not specifically to be used for example as an article, a poem, whatever it is I want to write.

Every so often I collect old things up to have a fire in which I release all that has gone before, and I am always delighted to flick back over what I have written and see how it has actually come to pass, but in a much, much more refined and wonderful way than I possibly could have imagined if I tried to orchestrate it myself by enforcing my will on life. I just put out the intention for the most beautiful thing I can imagine, and let life fill in the details for me.

The other wonderful thing about this process is it shows just that – everything is a process. Dreams take time to manifest, and we’ve got to be consistent with our efforts and totally trusting in the divine plan that the highest possible outcome for all of life will unfold and that the very best we can do is to be a vessel or an instrument for this to take place through. Sometimes I find big big dreams that I’ve written 6 months to a year ago, and signs of its actual coming to pass in a very solid form are only beginning to show now. Not everything takes this long, we can close the gap between cause and effect and experience instantaneous manifestation, but the “gestation period” for these larger visions shows that when it comes to life’s big goals and dreams, it takes time and patience and lots and lots of faith to see things through.

Writing down lists is an amazing way to keep track of our progress, and gives us a great big boost when it feels like things aren’t really moving all that fast.

Expressed Potential

Many many things I have been exploring more deeply recently, and one of them is the subject of digestive problems.

Most of us have been raised on a steady diet of indigestible lies, is it any wonder than that we suffer from digestion and assimilation difficulties?

The truth that the foundation we have built our existence on is a pile of rubbish is hard to swallow, no surprise that we can’t figure out how best to sustain our own bodies when the state of the world causes a lump in our throats. This problem is shockingly common now, and many have tried every diet under the sun to no avail because we are still not addressing the spiritual aspect of ourselves that is crying out for attention.

When everything is malfunctioning, the first place we should look is to see: what does this actually mean in terms of the bigger picture? If our back is out, it may be that it is not the back that is fundamentally faulty, but that we feel unsupported in some area of
life to the extent that our primary supporting structure collapses. If we have problems with our gut, it could well be exactly as that word suggests, our gut instincts about how life should be are completely contrary to how life actually is. It may be that whatever physical difficulty we harbour is a gift that allows us to develop in other unimaginable ways, that we won’t even notice if we have abandoned our inherent spiritual nature. It could be that through our selves we are evolving something for all of life. All things to consider as we realise that face value is not as it appears.

It can seem to be a catch 22 situation. For example, over the last few years of healing my back, there have been times when I’m been completely paralysed, immobilised, unable to move enough even to sit upright and work on my laptop. How then am I supposed to get up and change my life?

What I have learned through my own experience, which has been a blessing in disguise, is that change begins within. Even if we were literally living in a state of permanent paralysis, we can still be making the world a more beautiful place through the mechanism of the vast inner map that exists on the inside. Although inner and outer space are ultimately illusions, they are fantastic tools to work with on our journey back home towards Oneness. Before I realised the scope of myself, one of the things that paralysed me the most was guilt for not living up to other people’s expectations, or even for believing myself to be a burden on the fabric of life. I can say absolutely that everything that exists has a purpose, and we need only learn to read the language of life to find out what it is.

What I have really noticed throughout my experience is that as humans we are judged by what we do, not by who we are. At times when I have been completely out of action save for the unquenchable inner light that has remained as a beacon shining into the world, I have been judged by those paralysed by spiritual blindness to be worthless, useless and a waste of precious time and space. All illusions that have no real place in beingness, and serve only to reflect what love is not. It’s down to ourselves to see the value and worth in our own being, and steadily shine that light regardless of what our external environment appears to show us. This is our challenge in a world that as a whole can’t see us. When we see ourselves enough for the light to burst unchained from our skin, then sure enough those few special people who can actually see us will show up in our lives to light our world from every angle.

Really, all is within our vast being, and the ones we find who mirror our own light are merely an expression of ourselves. It’s down to us to know our true purpose and to claim it, wrestling our way through the illusions of others to stand in our rightful place if that’s what it takes.

I have frequently been challenged by my family over not being normal, not having a normal life, normal desires, a normal education, a normal career, all of those things that are expected from a respectable family in modern society. My answer has always been “I’m here for spiritual reasons”, even cutting ties with family members if it was necessary to be myself without interference. It is better for me to be regarded as a mad person than to disregard myself, that would be a death sentence to me. When we put our own inner knowing aside to pander to the whims of others who have no idea of what we have to give, then the body will surely let us know that we’re suffocating our divinity. Because after all, it is the medium through which God has chosen to express. The wisdom of the body is essentially the wisdom of the divine speaking through the canvas of flesh. How many of us listen, trusting this holy vessel to guide us gently and lovingly to the path of highest light?

When our body gives us trouble, do we consider to consult our inner pieces to find out what the problem really is? Something that is
indigestible may be so offensive to the inner child that it causes physical sickness. Do we stop to spend time with the child within, to
love and comfort them, tend to their needs, soothe their fears, to play with them, and to let them know that although life can be hard sometimes they are never alone? Does our inner warrior know that our boundaries are being breached yet consistently lie like a doormat doing nothing for fear of the repercussions? Do we ignore the voice of the inner wise one who tries to tell us that the child is upset and feels unloved? What about the nurturer, is she so suppressed that her instinct has lost its compass? Do we stifle our wild nature because it’s not acceptable in the eyes of others to be so free? All of these things are going to cause the body to function below its potential for pristine health.

There are so many nuances, because we can also say that ill health occurs due to inter-dimensional and other spiritual influences, environmental influences, and all manner of other factors. But there are two things to consider here.

The first is that all of these things are a by-product of our unexpressed inner pieces, that can be eradicated when enough of us are functioning at full power to fully birth the new golden reality that is beckoning. The second is that when fully functioning, we eventually reach a state whereby we are no longer affected by external factors. Ultimately, every difficulty can be traced back to its origin in unyielded light. Physical life can only show us potential expressed or potential unfulfilled, which do we want it to be? We have no idea what we are capable of until we begin to let ourselves roam free.

It is a very comforting thing to know that we are not flawed, only not yet expressing our majesty to the fullest capacity that is available to us in any given moment. It is a wonderful thing to know that this is all we need to do.